I had these thoughts not a while ago. I realized there are some things you just cannot control. I’d like to share some important things that i discovered through my journey of recovery.
1. The Friends
You will loose a couple or maybe few friends. But don’t worry, its not neither your fault or them. I know, depression makes you feel like isolating or maybe to the extend you wont be able to socialize how you used to. I used to just sit down and fake a smile or laugh. But it’s okay. To your friends, they might think you are not a fun person to hang out with anymore. They will stop inviting you to parties or any events. You will start feeling left out and more isolating. Just always keep in mind, not everybody truly understands what is going on with a depression.
Only the true friends will notice there is changes in you and they will try their best to reach out to you no matter how many phone calls you have rejected. Open up yourselve to this kind of people. Trust them. Dont be ashame to open up to them. They will be the light to your recovery. Remember, friends are important as part of recovery.
” Its not about the quantity of friends you have but quality”
In time, you will learn whos willing to stay at the time you are at your lowest.
2- Seeing a psychiatrist doesnt solve your problem you may think.
I know. You’re tired. Its best to be transparent to your attending psychitrist. Most importantly during your conversation is to update every single changes or improvement. Makes no space for self worry. They wont judge you . They are there to help you. Be sure to know what exactly is your problem. When you deliver the right problem,its easier for them to tackle and help you get the optimised treatment. Like an example, patient comes in with an exact clear thoughts of what is bothering him. In return, it makes its easier for your attending to help you.
3 Be Enable to recognize your trigger and problems.
This is tough i must say. Even for me. Know what gives you relapses. Take a pen and write it down. Brainstorm all.the possibilities of your triggers. After this step, try to avoid them . Slowly your mind will begin to start changing from negative thoughts to positive. Lets take an example, someone comes to you and say ” why cant you just stop thinking negative”. The first step is to always remind yourself that your ilness is invisible. They cant see physical pain on you. Instead just keep reminding yourself ” nahh they dont and will never understand”. Try and learn to walk away from the conversation . In time you will learn how to tackle and find a solution that you can apply to every of your trigger.
4. Keep your body occupied! Do not let your mind to get creative in a negative way.
“Small but rewarding” . This is what my psychiatrist told me. This small words gave so much change to me and helped me recover in many ways. You can do big things if you want, things that normally makes you happy. It doesn’t need to expensive. Try to recall your old hobbies. Find something you can sustain for everyday activites. For me it was karaoke. I love singing . I know it sounds crazy. I mean, who goes to ktv in 10am in the morning ?. Cheap i must say. Nevertheless, if its something rewarding for you. Go for it. Do it at your best but don’t ever set a high expectation or else you’ll end up dissapointed and more depressed. Remember you are worthy, everything you do is already the best for you . We are human, we have our flaws and weakness. Lets say if the things you do are expensive or maybe you need a partner for it. Try something normal. Like going for a jog, doing house chores, sightseeing, adding essential oils and candles to your house etc. Add in some varities to it . For an example, today i’d like smell lavendar. Tomorrow lets try a different essential oil
Remember YOLO? Yes, we only live once. Make every single day the best of it. Learn its beauty.
5. You will feel bored and empty. Especially since all your friends are working or going to school. Your mc will long enough so make the best out of it by living in it the most.
Tips: List out atleast 3 top thing you would want to accomplish the next day. The best is before going to bed.
E.g : 1- Showering, 2- Tidy up your bed, 3- Jogging? Hiking?
Remember, it doesn’t have to nessessarily be expensive or require a lot of people.
“SMALL BUT REWARDING WITH DIVERSITY AND FULLFILMENT”
6. Stop thinking that your friends will always check on your wellbeing!. Remember they have their own life and responsibilities too. Take a stand.
“I’m worthless”, “my friends don’t never come and find me”, “i’m not good a socializing”, “i’, scared i’ll get triggered” etc
Trust me. Staying in your own safety cacoon doesn’t not help you to recover. Make a habit to make calls or even a small texts. You’ll be suprise how much people care about you once you let your self a little vulnerable to them. Don’t worry about triggers. Try to manage on that side. Once you can control your mind, you will stop feeling isolating yourself and feel like going out more often.
7. Demotivated. Yes, sometimes we do feel demotivated when we feel like we arent going anywhere with this.
Tips: Set a goal or an achievement. Remember DO NOT put high expectation. The aim is to just bring you out and make you feel more alive and that life is worth living.
As mentioned above, i like singing. In fact i loved a lot of hobbies. This time i set my goal. I wanted to be good in the songs i like to sing in karaoke. So i try to practice and find the right vocal range of songs that suits my voice. I do admit, sometimes i feel demotivated when i cant reach they key that i wanted. But, its okay. We are already doing our best. Remember, we are rewarding ourselves.