Chapter 3: Depression, Housemenship and Relationship.

The story of a journey becoming a doctor. Housemenship is the most difficult phase of life in any doctor who’s planning to stay and work in Malaysia. Its tough i must say, been there. You are required to work a minimum of 65 hours a week which includes shift duties and on calls. Some has to even work up to 80 hours weekly. It’s physically exhausting and mentally wrenching. My point here is that you have to be mentally and physically prepared for whats coming. You don’t even have time for family and friends. But do not quit.

I have to be honest here, i’m still heartbroken from resigning. But i’m more determined this time to complete my recovery and resume back my housemenship training. For whatever things or struggle i went through, there has to be a reason why it happend. So this time, i decided to put my career first even if it takes to sacrifice certain things.

Some even have told me that this job doesn’t suit me. It’ll only make my depression worse. They told me i should put my health first. But you know, i am not giving up this easily. One thing i’ve learned about myself is that, challenges makes me stronger. The more i fall, the more i want to succeed in what i do. I guess its kinda my OCD aswell. I also discovered what i really want in life. I want to help others. It’s a relieving feeling that i have never felt before. I wouldn’t have discovered this blog if i were still doing my housemenship.

Relationship wise, i guess its just the fear of getting my heart broken again. Plus religion is another issue. I’m sure you can relate to this if you ever been in a mix relationship. My partner is chinese and we were facing difficulties as any other mix couples do. Its funny how love can bring two different people from different background and culture.

Sometimes i do feel like he deserves to move on without me. For all the things he have done and the things we went through. I just don’t want to see him heartbroken. He deserves a woman so much better than me. If you are reading this, just want you to know that no matter what happens if we are meant to be with each other or not, you will always have a special place in my heart. Letting go something so rare is really hard you know. Thank you for the world you gave me. Thank you for always been there for me. I believe in fate, good things will always come back to you if they are meant for you.

Published by MindSolution

an avid reader, a writer and a resident doctor with bipolar

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