An Unquiet Mind, A Memoir of Moods and Madness book by Kay Redfield Jamision. An academic professor that suffers from bipolar herself that lead and inspired her to do a research on mental illness. I heard some very good reviews for this book that i had to write and blog about it and probably get one for myself soon. For those who are suffering from Bipolar disorder or Manic Depressive Disorder and you want a better understanding about it,you may consider to purchase this book.
I had a conversation with my psychiatrist today Dr Elinda and how much we covered about Bipolar disorder topic. While being a patient myself, i’m glad that me and my doctor could reach to a better understanding about this disorder and how it could help me to recover . I could relate to Kay Jamison as she comes from a healthcare proffesional background and what drove her to make a research on her own for the better of others and herself. I truly understand what she went through.
You see, i’ve always grown up thinking that i’m different somehow. I always have different ideas, thoughts and perspective towards certain things. I thought it was normal. As i grew older, the signs become clearer and i didn’t realize it was a huge problem to me when it started to affect my career. I’m sure those who are suffering from manic depressive disorder could relate to this. But those who has no idea of what is Bipolar disorder, you may click at the link given below.
Since i’m sharing my thoughts and view of this disorder. I must share something personal and why is it important for me to share about it. Well, in the past we all have done some bad mistakes and choices. I abused myself with taking ‘substances’ to overcome my depression. It became worse when i started realize how dependant i became to it. Not only that, i let myself taken advantage and went through all sorts of horrible things that was quietly making my depression worse. But now i have quit for good and decided to choose a path to a complete recovery.
Why do you think its important for me to share about this information that i consider confidential? The answer is simple, it’s because for a person that suffers from Bipolar disorder, it is crucial for you to understand what are your triggers of manic and depressive episodes.
I have friends telling me how ‘EXTRA’ i can be or how ‘OPTIMISTIC’, that i can react or think in a certain way at that moment. I will experience extreme mania highs on substance that is why i quit for good. At times, it could be a good thing though, i’ll become so optimistic and my thoughts rush with ideas that i had to write everything down. I will experience racing speech, racing thoughts and flights of ideas. And if i fail to control, i can easily switch and fall into depression. I get frustrated if i don’t achieve my goals in things that was motivating me. My psychiatrist said that its easily mistaken with major depressive disorder where you are acknowledge of what to do so you force yourself to do things that can motivate you to that level. But, sometimes a person with bipolar disorder can also be in their manic phase by themselves. I’m glad that i managed to recognize my trigger.
I also suffered the almost deadly depression phase where it lead me to few admission to hospital. Now that i’m on medication and proper treatment, i managed to control my swings and episode much better than before. I learned that mind is something that only we can control. My advice is, to keep studying and doing research about yourself. The more you know, the more its easier for your to manage those episode next time. I can write so much more about this disorder, but my post is getting a little bit too long. What i can conclude here is that, despite the treatments and therapy that we’ve being told to comply with, never forget your knowledge about yourselve is bigger than you think on your road to recovery.